Don’t Be Someone Else

Most people are actually being affected by other persons.
That is, they are being someone else, not themselves.

The other day, I had some client talking about her dream.
Unbilievably, even though she is a grown-up,
she was worried how she could convince her family.
Which means, the turning point of her life always depends on her family’s opinion.

If you ask your family what they think…?
 They would probably
say “NO!!”
(They will not do that when your energy goes up.)

As long as you are accustomed to ask them, you will not be happy.

You only have to tell them after you decide it.
They might be surprised, but they won’t say anything if you are thoroughly determined.

And they tend to make a decision with:
what people say,
what their parents say,
what their teachers say,
or what fortune tellers says.
No matter how important it is, they hesitate to make a decision by themselves.

Or, these are also good examples of “being someone else”:
To be afraid of expressing their feelings,
To be worried if this person does not like what they say,
To be worried if that person gets angry about what they do,
To be worried too much about what people think of them,
To be dishonest about what they feel.

Since we were so young, we have been controlled to listen to the superiors, rather than our inner voice.
(It might sound bad, saying “controlled”…)

Actually, in our education system,
you were supposed to be bad if you don’t listen to teachers.
And you were supposed to be good if you just follow what teachers say.
That is, it is best to be slaves. LOL

You must have been judged as a bad person when you were being yourself, right?
You must have been praised as a wonderful person when you were being so loyal, right?
(Of course, sometimes you are going to be troubled if you cut loose too much.)

That might be why you stick to the idea that you have to follow what people say.
You might think that you are not allowed to make a decision by yourself.
(Mind you, you will be fired if you don’t listen to a person in charge at your current organisation.)

Start paying attention to what you feel and making a decision by yourself.
Stop being dependent on what people would think.
Stop telling a lie to yourself.
You are being someone else when you care too much about public image before making an action.

You can get mad if you need to.
You can have things you are bad at, as you definitely have the ones you are good at.
It is already wonderful, just to exist.

Start from today’s lunch. Stop deciding what to eat through others’ point of view.
You will not feel happy as long as you are just being too protective, thinking too much about what people eat.

If you like it, then eat. If you don’t, then don’t!!
Don’t eat it if you don’t want.
Just eat what your body wants.

Especially, important things in your life such as school, job search, marriage!
You definitely won’t be happy if you make a decision thinking too much about others’opinions.

Indeed, so many people are being suffered from what they have done just because their parents or people around them told them to do so, or just because everyone was doing so with no considerations.

Furthermore, medical treatments are the same.
You are not yourself in case you decided to take an operation just because people or doctors told you so.
Here is a survey of doctor organisation.
There was a question;
“If you found you had a cancer, would you take the medical treatment you normally give to your patients?”
surprisingly, there was only one doctor who said “Yes.”

That is, they all are telling their patients to take the treatment, knowing it is no good.

Please come and meet me at the seminar.
Stop choosing things just because others tell you so. That is the good start to live yourself.

 You are free now. Just let it go.